Your heel broke? Blame it on Mercury. Got fired? Mercury. Child won’t stop screaming? He’s not possessed by Satan, it’s Mercury. Seems like all of last year, and some of 2018, Mercury in retrograde was the named culprit for all things disaster. I’m no astrologist, and I have no idea what it means, but it’s nice to have a scapegoat when the turds are flying into the fan. So Mercury is the Bobolee of 2017… and 2018.
Part of adulting unfortunately means though, that one day you’re going to have to put out that joint, and with it, give the Mercury blame-game a rest. You will eventually have to pick yourself up and try again. Gotta dust it off and try again. (If Aaliyah said so, it’s true.) Do whatever you must to get back on your two figurative feet, and face the world head on. Everything you need to be great is already within you. Get to that place with a bucket of fried chicken, bodega snacks, a good pep talk or laugh from your scandalous sister friends --- Whatever brings you life! Shit happens, no doubt. What’s important is that you walk with your pooper scooper and move the fuck on. You’re too awesome to be sunken. Float bitch! Go get those goals.